25 Things About Me

Since I'm bored and can't sleep. . .25 things about me.

1. I'm as stubborn as a mule.

2. Sugarland is my life. They made the last two years bearable.

3. I'm quite sensitive, so I take it to heart when someone blocks me on Twitter or unfriends me on Facebook. It just makes me feel like I unintentionally pissed them off. I can't take hearing about deaths of children and moms. No child should die and no child should have to lose their mom.

4. I'm a girly tomboy. I love wearing sneakers, sweats, hoodies and caps, but I also love to get all dolled up.

5. I want to own a BIG multi color eye shadow palette, brushes and a couple of other make up items since my current make up is old.

6. I want to travel the world someday. I also want to see the Northern Lights and stand on the Four Corners.

7. I want to go on a cruise, but after watching the Titanic and seeing about the recent boat accident makes me afraid.

8. I really want to live in England for either 6 months or a year, someplace close to my good friend.

9. I'm random. I say random things at randoms times which makes my friends go "wtf?"

10. As a bully victim for almost 10 years, I wonder if I would have been teased if I were skinny, had long hair and didn't wear glasses.

11. I let my grades slip because I was being teased. I wish I hadn't because I had the smarts to be in AP classes; I just stopped applying myself.

12. My first time on a plane was 2009. I was scared, but I really enjoyed myself.

13. The year 2007 was probably one of the best years-I met my closest friend, got my first job, had fun in college, bought my iPod and first laptop with my own money...it was nice.

14. 2003 was a close second. My friend was over for most of the summer, experienced that blackout, high school was okay because I had my group of friends, my role model, Katie Wagner was still on TV and I went to Atlanta that September. Missed three days of school, but it was worth it.

15. I still use VHS tapes.

16. Whenever my mom and I move later this year, and I get a job, I am going to treat myself to a bunch of things. I've only had a few nice things since moving here. My main things are a tattoo, iPod Touch and laptop and tickets to see Sugarland.

17. I want to have a video game party, a Super Bowl party,and a Golden Girls, Simpsons, Harry Potter and Twilight marathon. I love to entertain people.

18. I love to laugh, especially those ones where you can't stop laughing!

19. I foresee myself either breaking my arm, having appendicitis or mono.

20. My life would be perfect if I could marry my current crush. They still have feelings for me (I hope) and being with them has made me happier...it made them happier by being with me as well.

21. I want to learn to juggle one day.

22. I can eat pizza at every meal and not get tired of it.

23. I want to help the hungry by buying fresh foods and not giving them old, expired foods. Also by donating because everyone deserves to eat.

24. My first daughter's name WILL be Jennifer Ainsley.

25. I want to grow my DVD collection. My goal is to own ALL my favorite movies and TV shows on DVD.

I'm slowly, but surely getting back into writing. This was one of my hobbies and in 2009, I started to lose interest. It feels great because I miss doing fanfiction. Here is link to my newest story (or ficlets, inspired by 10 songs on my iPod) Magic School Bus: Shuffle

2012 Came In. . .

And it felt GOOD! New Years of 2010 and 11, I didn't feel what I felt at midnight. I didn't feel good or positive. This time, I felt good. I know things will happen this year. I know we'll be out of here. I know we'll be happy again. I know on New Years of 2013, I'm going to be HAPPY. The past two years have made me stronger-I've matured a lot and sacrificed alot. 2012 is going to be a good year!

Last Day of 2011

And I am GLAD. The only good things to happen to me were making amends with Hazel in January, my 24th birthday in February, Samual's birth in May, Riley's second birthday in July, Hazel's 22nd also in July, getting an Android in August and making a ton of new Sugar friends and becoming a family that month. I hate that we had to do it under such terrible circumstances. Thanksgiving was alright, awkward as hell til Bitchy Auntie's gay brother and his partner came. Then, it was nice because her brother's partner is SUPER sweet! Too bad Auntie is such a gosh darn showoff and mean person. 

I declare 2012 to be MY year. Things WILL get better. My mom and I WILL move. We WILL have jobs again. I WILL go back to school. I WILL see Sugarland with my friends. I'm hoping Hazel, her boys and I can meet as well. I surely wouldn't mind flying over to the UK for a month next Summer. 

I've had such an awful two years being in California and I can only pray that things get better. I know God doesn't put things on us that we can't handle, but a person can only handle so much. It's no fun being hungry for two days. It sucks not being able to do anything fun. 2012 will change. I just know it. 

Happy New Year!

Good things, bad things

Bad:

My top left molar is chipped/broken and it cut the inside of my jaw. It hurts to eat.

Good:

Someone, I don't know who, sent me TWO CSI: Crime Scene Investigation books! I think someone looked at my Amazon Wishlist and decided to buy them, but these books came from Better World Books, which I don't think is a subsidiary of Amazon.

I won yet ANOTHER free pizza from Papa John's! This will be my food for New Years while I read. I checked out a bunch of books (I Spy, don't you dare mock me! :P :D) and also watch DVDs on my computer. Had a BSoD issue, but it seems to be solved. My USB cord to my phone seems to be the culprit. I also think I need to upgrade the CD/DVROM drive as well.

I also won a $20 gift card to Wendy's! I sent an entry on what I can do with a dollar and I made a dollar bird duck. I was one of the first 99 people to submit and so I won!

With two days left until 2012, I am wishing for a better year-move to some place more diverse, go back to college, get a job. I cannot live like this much longer. I really can't. It's stressing, and it's NO fun seeing your mom cry.

I Wish. . .

I honestly hate we live in separate countries. I hate that you may like someone else who has hurt you, and will hurt you again. I want so much for us to be together. I adore and love you and those boys, though we've never met. I wish we could go back to planning our lives together, like we did in 2007. I know you say you love me, and I mean the world to you, but I just wish that we could be together again. I love you.

Holidays Shomlidays

Well, first off, welcome to my blog. Here, you'll find random postings from me, from venting, to happiness, to just plain random.

I hate to vent on my very first blog post, but it has to be done. My Christmas was pretty much crap. My uncle never called us, stopped by or sent a card. It's sad that a fifty something year old man allows his possessive and jealous wife to dictate who he can and can't be friends with. Naturally, my mom was upset, and today she's still upset.

It's been that way since we moved here in 2009. My uncle very much wanted us here because has no family here, and he gets lonely around the holidays because his wife's family is over. Skip ahead to October of 2009. We had just moved into our apartment after staying with them since August. A nice couple from our now old church was gonna stop by and bring a TV, bed and a few other things. Bitchy Aunt tells her not to call anymore and tells Uncle not to have any contact with us. Uncle listens, saying "Herr derr, the Bible says a man and a wife are one and blahdee, blahdee, blah" He can't stand up to her, and that's sad. HE wanted us out here. WE'RE the only family to step foot in that damn house every year since 2006, and this is the THANKS he gives us. Family my foot!

It's been a hellish two years. We often go hungry, I can't find a job, we rarely have new things...I don't know how we managed to get through it. My mom makes friends easy, unlike Bitchy Auntie who is a general asshole to everyone she comes across, so they'll often give us a couple of bucks, some buy us food, my mom's friend, who lives two hours away helps us. It's sad that these people, who aren't blood related to us treat us like family, even more than Bitchy Auntie and Uncle.

I admit that I am jealous of my friends. They're working, doing things, going to school, attending Sugarland shows, and I spend my days at home. I've often felt suicidal because some days are just so hard. Holidays are hard, because, except for Thanksgiving of this year, Uncle doesn't call us.

I really hope that 2012 is the year everything changes for us-moving, getting jobs, me going back to college. I honestly cannot survive another year like this. It's no fun going hungry. The worst was New Years of last year...those four days we went without food, I seriously thought I was going to die. When things finally change, I'm gonna be the person everyone loves and help out with charities that help people who don't have enough food. I'm going to donate to soup kitchens and homeless shelters. Not nasty, expired food. Actual fresh foods! Everyone deserves to eat.

I also want things to get better for my friends, one in Ohio, and one in England. I love those girls. My girl in England has two boys and I love and adore all three people and I hope they can come for a visit. To be honest, she and I have had history, I still have feelings for her (and she still has feelings for me), and I wish we could start anew. My friend in Ohio, she lives with her grandmother, who is verbally abusive to her, so I wish she could get out of that situation.

Anyways, I'll post again before the New Year.