Well, first off, welcome to my blog. Here, you'll find random postings from me, from venting, to happiness, to just plain random.
I hate to vent on my very first blog post, but it has to be done. My Christmas was pretty much crap. My uncle never called us, stopped by or sent a card. It's sad that a fifty something year old man allows his possessive and jealous wife to dictate who he can and can't be friends with. Naturally, my mom was upset, and today she's still upset.
It's been that way since we moved here in 2009. My uncle very much wanted us here because has no family here, and he gets lonely around the holidays because his wife's family is over. Skip ahead to October of 2009. We had just moved into our apartment after staying with them since August. A nice couple from our now old church was gonna stop by and bring a TV, bed and a few other things. Bitchy Aunt tells her not to call anymore and tells Uncle not to have any contact with us. Uncle listens, saying "Herr derr, the Bible says a man and a wife are one and blahdee, blahdee, blah" He can't stand up to her, and that's sad. HE wanted us out here. WE'RE the only family to step foot in that damn house every year since 2006, and this is the THANKS he gives us. Family my foot!
It's been a hellish two years. We often go hungry, I can't find a job, we rarely have new things...I don't know how we managed to get through it. My mom makes friends easy, unlike Bitchy Auntie who is a general asshole to everyone she comes across, so they'll often give us a couple of bucks, some buy us food, my mom's friend, who lives two hours away helps us. It's sad that these people, who aren't blood related to us treat us like family, even more than Bitchy Auntie and Uncle.
I admit that I am jealous of my friends. They're working, doing things, going to school, attending Sugarland shows, and I spend my days at home. I've often felt suicidal because some days are just so hard. Holidays are hard, because, except for Thanksgiving of this year, Uncle doesn't call us.
I really hope that 2012 is the year everything changes for us-moving, getting jobs, me going back to college. I honestly cannot survive another year like this. It's no fun going hungry. The worst was New Years of last year...those four days we went without food, I seriously thought I was going to die. When things finally change, I'm gonna be the person everyone loves and help out with charities that help people who don't have enough food. I'm going to donate to soup kitchens and homeless shelters. Not nasty, expired food. Actual fresh foods! Everyone deserves to eat.
I also want things to get better for my friends, one in Ohio, and one in England. I love those girls. My girl in England has two boys and I love and adore all three people and I hope they can come for a visit. To be honest, she and I have had history, I still have feelings for her (and she still has feelings for me), and I wish we could start anew. My friend in Ohio, she lives with her grandmother, who is verbally abusive to her, so I wish she could get out of that situation.
Anyways, I'll post again before the New Year.
