Yes, I'm black, and yes, I love country music!

I completely, hopelessly adore country music. As a black girl growing up in the 90s, it seems like I was expected to like rap and hip-hop. Not I said the fly. I've always been a little different from my peers. I never did care for rap music, except for a good handful of artists, such as Eminem and Nelly. I also liked the occasional rap song from some random rap artist, but I digress. My thing was bubblegum pop, such as 'N Sync, B*Witched, The Spice Girls, The Backstreet Boys, Britney, Christina, BBMak and many others. However, these bands and singers never really inspired me much. They inspired me to be myself in a sense because I was the only black girl in my middle school to like 'N Sync AND be open about it. But other than that? I just enjoyed their music.

As I grew older, I was one of those "I like all genres of music except country music and heavy metal and rap!" people on social media, despite the fact the occasional country song was played on the two radio stations I listened to. (And I liked said songs, funnily enough.) I retracted that statement a little bit later because how could I judge a genre I've never listened to? Naturally, I thought it was about losing your job, your dog dying, and your girlfriend or wife cheating on you with your brother. Little did I know, I was dead wrong, and little did I know a certain band would forever change my life and my perspective of the genre.

It was January 2009. I was on YouTube (before Google took over), and I happened to go onto my friend's page, and I saw she had favorited about 6 or 7 music videos by this band called Sugarland. It piqued my curiosity, so I clicked on the video for Baby Girl. I thought the song the really cute, especially the line: "Well, I love you more than anything in the world, love your baby girl." At the time, I was looking for new music, so I watched a few more videos and enjoyed those as well. Then, I played the video for All I Want To Do. I don't know why, but in the second verse, Jennifer does this little dance with her dress while Kristian fanned himself and shook his head... that somehow pulled me into the group, but it was mainly their music. It was really good!

I spend February occasionally listening to them more, but early March, I had a falling out with my friend. She temporarily ceased contact with me, and I would listen to Sugarland to help me remember her and all the good times we had. I discovered their other songs and in early April, I purchased Love on the Inside, and listened to it on my way home from class. Totally fell in love with the album and the group even more. I used to watch (or listen to, rather) the soft rock station on Music Choice while sleeping or when I wasn't watching TV. I turned right to the Today's Country station. And while waiting for a Sugarland song to play, I discovered something.

I discovered I do love country music. All the songs were just really fun and catchy with a great beat.

Randomness

Having bouts of depression, mainly from having SO many job rejections suck. I'm not sure if it has to do with my being shy, or if they see I only have limited skills as I've had only seasonal and temporary jobs, or if it was because of Kohl's one day stint (in which they lied and said we would work all through the holiday) or if it's because I can't work past 10 p.m. (buses), but it's taken it's toll on me physically and emotionally. My memory hasn't been as good and I have days where I just feel really down. I just want the Universe to be good to me, so I can finally have a job again. (Though I sometimes feel like I'm being punished or I'm just this bad person because I used to be so negative and angry in 2010 and 2011. I since stopped because it just wasn't healthy.)

Jennifer Nettles posted this quote to her Twitter a few days ago, and it rang true to what I'm going through: ""How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours." -Wayne Dyer Night Night......,"". WOW. See, my aunt is a jealous and just downright hateful person, so Karma will kick her butt soon and my uncle just allowed it because he cannot stick up for himself. Again, Karma will take care of that. As for ME? Well, I'm just gonna live my life as if they never were apart of my it. It's harsh, but we have had many hungry days while living in La Quinta and they never called us. They didn't call us on holidays or give us a present. Hell, my uncle never even called me on my birthday this year. The best Karma I'm going to give them is to just be happy, love everyone, and live my life without them. How do you like THEM apples?

It still bothers me that I gave up so much-a job, school, my cat (that I miss SO much), most of my possessions for nothing. I was preparing to return back to school. My mom had gotten a raise and things were starting to look up. I lost almost FOUR years of my life because of my aunt's selfish ways. And then she wonders why she doesn't have many friends or why people don't like her. It's her negative attitude and possessive ways.

As for Kohl's, it really bothered me when they got my and 25 others hopes up. See, they said we would work all through the holidays and since there's no real online job description of a "Friends and Family Associate", which is what they called us, we believed it. (And trust me, I had to look it up!) Had I known it was only a job for Black Friday, I would have kept my other appointment. I pray that this isn't the reason I can't find a job. (I call this job "Black Friday Associate". It's not lying as it's really that.)

Honestly, if it weren't for Jennifer Nettles and Sugarland, I would be an entirely different person and I probably would have... never mind. Sugarland is the best thing to ever happen to me. They made the long, hungry, depression filled days so much better. Their music made me smile when I didn't want to smile. And the people I met became a second family to me and they never judged me on decisions I have made. In fact, on July 5, I went out to lunch with two ladies who live close to me and it was just what the doctor ordered. I had a great time with them and look forward to doing it again someday.

I wish I could work as a roadie for Jennifer and for Sugarland. (Perfect job!) It'll be a good way of giving back and saying thanks. Dreams do come true! :)

College

I absolutely look forward to going back to college again. I'm a little bit of a nerd, so I enjoyed my time at Kent State, despite the depression, anxiety, and the ADD. I hope to get help for those so school will be an easier time for me. My plan is to attend the local community college to get the rest of my prereqs out of the way, and then attend a regular university. I'm looking at Cal State Long Beach, mainly because it is easy to get to on the bus. (if my mom doesn't acquire a car by then. Many changes are a-happenin'!)

I used to want to be a reporter for Hollywood and interviews and be on the red carpet and work for E!, but now, I'd really LOVE to work in country music, doing the same thing, but work for CMT or GAC or even for a country music radio station. As I mentioned before, I would LOVE to be a roadie for Sugarland and run small errands for them on the road, help set up small stuff like mics and guitars and water bottles, and help run their official Twitter and Facebook and do little fun fan engagements like contests, video chats, and fanclub parties. Sugarland has taught me that dreams come true and I hope this particular dream comes true. Doing as an internship in the near future would be perfection!

Random Blurbs

1. I love that my favorite people in the world are following me on Twitter, Pintrest, and Instagram!
2. Moving on Halloween!
3. I have a feeling I'll have a job this time in November--kinda scary to think about! 3A. It'll be great because I can take on all working hours now, since buses stop service at like 11. That, and I'll have a ride just in case.
4. School in January? We'll see! 5. I'm now realizing that I don't want to be a Hollywood reporter anymore. I'm now wanting to work in country music as either a disc jockey or for CMT or GAC. I would also love to work as a roadie for Sugarland.

Whenever I'm down, I think back to this magical night. And I smile. Never in my wildest dreams would I think I would be on that stage. I mean, I had a feeling my sign would be chosen, but to sit up there, by Kristian, while he and Jennifer sang, was truly unexpected and so euphoric. It's like they knew about me, and of my situation. Oh, and they give AMAZING hugs. That experience alone makes me want to work for them as their roadie, even if it's just for a few weeks or a month. They are truly amazing, nice, kind-hearted, loving people and I just adore them. Jennifer is going to be an amazing mom. I can't wait to see whats in store after Jennifer spends time with her baby, and gets used to being a mom.

May 25, 2012

On May 25th, 2012, music happened. I attended my first Sugarland show in two and a half years. My mom and I left around 1:15pm and we arrived at Agua Caliente around 3ish. We had a TON of time before 9pm, so we walked around. A LOT. Time actually seemed to go pretty quickly. The only thing I had to eat was an order of fries…I was too anxious to eat. I met a fanclub member, John and he gave me his VIP bag! In it were the Incredible Machine band and a poster! People started to line up around 7:30 and at 8, we filed in! When I got to my seat, and saw that rainbow handprint, I was in tears. I just couldn’t believe that in less than hour, I would be seeing Sugarland! Around 8:50, Kathie and Todd came in and their seats were two rows ahead of me. A little bit after we said our hellos, the lights dimmed and we stand to our feet. Out step Jennifer and Kristian and they begin their opening number, “Wide Open” During Settlin’, Jennifer walks over to the part of the stage were my section is. She’s singing and dancing and looking at us and I wave to her. She’s smiling and waved back and I’m so shocked, I cover my mouth. Jennifer sees this and points to me, kind of mimics me and laughs! She’s too cute! For Tonight, Jennifer brings out her Duets partner, J Rome and they ROCKED it!
Afterwards, Jennifer asks that everyone passes their sign up. I had a very special sign there and I really wanted her to see it. After she looks at two flashy signs (one made with duct tape and Jennifer asks if there was a woman he was seeing), she picks up MY sign! It said “Please Call My Mom For Little Miss?” and she asks for the sign maker to come up. When I climbed up those stairs, I started to freeze up. Kristian holds out his hand and goes “Hi, I’m Kristian!” and he hugs me. When I got over to Jennifer and she asked what my name is, I kind of blank! It took me a few seconds for me to say anything and as I’m dialing my mom, I fear she wouldn’t pick up because it rang for a few good seconds! But she picks up and I’m all “Guess what…guess what…I’m on the stage!” I hand Jennifer my phone and she talks to my mom for a little bit. During this, Kristian brings me a stool to sit and gave me a bottled water and a towel because I think he thought I would pass out…I’m surprised I didn’t! They sang Little Miss and I’m looking at Jennifer and she’s smiling and the audience is smiling and at the end, Kristian gives me a guitar pic and later puts his head to mine and I do the same and *fangirl moment*. Just before I leave the stage, Jennifer hugs me! As I was going back to my seat, I get a BUNCH of high fives!
Their next song was the most voted by text message, Stand Up, but my mind was hardly on it, even though I texted voted for it. They played Genevieve for someone in the audience and Jennifer says that it was the first time they played it this year-I just wish I could have gotten the whole video! After a few more songs, Jennifer brings out her other Duets partner, John and they perform Stay…it was AWESOME! During the encore, I go down to the front of the stage with a bunch of other people, and get a hand slap from Jennifer and as they were waving goodbye, Annie looks at me, smiles and mouths “You rock!” Ahhh! I truly had an amazing time! I got to meet Kathie, Todd, Emily, Heather, who is a Facebook friend, another fanclubber named Jackie, Nicholas Lee, the boy who got to into Everyday America and a slew of others who congratulated me for getting on stage!
I now see why people attend multiple Sugarland concerts. The atmosphere is overwhelming, each show is different, and the anticipation waiting is worth it. Thank you Sugarland for putting on a WONDERFUL show and I will see you again! And here is my mention in the SugarBlog! "Allie Granberry was the second sign picked with a request for "Little Miss" dedicated to her mom, Sharon Lee. Allie was so excited she could barely breathe, and Jennifer said that it was fans like Allie that made the show fun for her. Allie called her Mom on stage while she and Jennifer sang. And even though her eyes were filled with tears, she had a huge smile on her face. Kristian brought her water when she got a little choke up, and everyone high-fived her when she left the stage. It was a night to remember for Allie – and for everyone in Rancho Mirage."

Happy!

So, I haven't updated since the day after my 25th birthday. Not much has happened since then. I DID go to the Riverside County Fair the third Sunday in February and it was GREAT. I was "big sister" for the day to three young girls, and I don't know why, babies and children seem to like me! Despite the fact I nearly puked after getting off two super spinny rides, it was a fun day; probably the funnest since moving here.

I got a late birthday present to myself and on May 25th, 2012, around 8 or so at night, I am FINALLY seeing Sugarland after two long years! SO stoked and beyond excited! My seat is in section 102, Row G, Seat 2. I have other friends attending that night too, so it'll be great to meet them and have a fun time. No Sugarpit at this show, but my seat does make up for it!

I am really hoping my change happens soon. All this sitting around is really getting to my mom and I. I look forward to going back to work (would LOVE to work at a pet store) and going back to college. Yes, I'm a nerd. I miss having my own money and being busy. I look forward to helping those in the same way people have helped us. I want to take Zumba classes and do roller derby. Gonna be weird after like three years (will be three years this coming August), but so worth it. So worth the packing and the two hour trip.

Anyhoo, I've been doing well. I started a soda diet and started walking almost everyday. It's great fun, but I am not looking forward to when the weather gets hot. I hope to purchase another Nintendo Wii, so I can do Wii Sports and Fitness when it gets too hot to step foot outside.

So, that's all for right now. I hope my life gets much more interesting in the weeks to come!